When two become one, English

I didn’t mean for it to happen! Honestly, I didn’t! But in a way, now… it feels inevitable. Like it was destined to be. 

I’ve tried keeping my verbal and my visual side apart, but it no longer feels like the right way to go. Why have fifteen different sites to go to and maintain, when you can just access it all in one place? At first I felt like I wanted to keep them apart. That my words weren’t meant for the same audience as my photos, but the more I think about it it feels like that they are both the same. They’re all apart of who I am, and the one influence the other.

If I’m lucky, they can also fuel each other. When I’m low on words, it’ll push me to take more pictures and vice versa. Probably not true but as rationalisations come and go, it’s a pretty good one. This won’t happen over night, of course… I need to figure out the proper way of structuring it and I need someone a lot more skilled than I am to help me design the whole thing, but most of all – I need a good name.

Names… well, shit. Usually when you write a short story or create some character info for something, people tell you “just hold off on the name, you’ll figure it out eventually.” This has never really worked for me; the name is too important – even if it’s just in my own head. A name gives me a visual to work off; a verbal framework, if you will. It can also set the mood. While it is technically possible to write a horror-story with a protagonist named Jolly Bob-Joe Rancher, it does makes the whole creative process a lot more difficult. Names…names are important. They are the starting point of who you are. It’s usually the first thing you say to someone you meet for the first time. I grew up in the Age of the Internet, and unlike in kindergarten or school – on the internet you can pick your own name. Select one that you feel is right for you, and nobody else. Of course, a lot of people end up naming themselves after their favorite film or literary hero – or any of an endless variation thereof.  I remember when the movie The Matrix first opened… just a few days later, every other schmuck online was named Neo, or n3o, or ne0, or ^neo^or whatever the fuck they pieced together in their pseudo-deep little minds. Granted, I wasn’t much better when I was that age… but at least I chose the road a little less traveled.

Well, shit.. what’s in a name? Everything really. Or at least it can be. My parents always thought it was a little bit weird that I had known some people for years, and when mom and dad asked about their last names… I didn’t know. Sometimes, I didn’t even know their first name. Their real name, some would say, but… the names we chose for ourselves became our real names in a sense that was much deeper than just something that you were called – they became your identity. I remember when I saw the movie “Hackers” when I was a kid. Now, don’t get me wrong… that’s a pretty shitty movie (albeit a fun one). It’s silly, badly acted and story-wise quite absurd…. but what it does though, is show a very extreme caricature of a subculture that I was apart of when I was younger. Essentially it revolves around a group of social misfits that take refuge in a virtual world where you are valued for your mind and your skills instead of how you look or how many friends you have. I can identify with that. Anyway. I got sidetracked.

I’m thinking about merging my words with my photography, and I need a good name for it. If you have a suggestion, tell me. Please.

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